Smooth as a cucumber

My girlfriend says every known phrase incorrectly, but with absolute unwavering confidence. Some of my favourites:

"It's six of one, a dozen of the other"
"It swings in roundabouts"
"I'm stressed to the nines"
"Lets get this boat on the road"
"Like a bulldozer in a china shop"

— Sarah Keyworth (@sarahkcomedy) October 25, 2021